Never again will I give my love to someone so unworthy.

Ginger ale and salt and vinegar chips or lime popsicles, depending on how sick I am.

So, I can finally shout it from the rooftops....I'M GOING TO BE A BIOLOGICAL AUNTIE!!!!

No.

And neither does my dragon.

So, I didn't punch him in the crotch. I didn't even talk to him. I hid and ran away, then looked at his facebook page for the millionth time and cried.
I am loser/pathetic/stalker/troll. I'm like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction without the ambition and openly homicidal tendencies.

Very shitty day. I'm fat. Not just fat, but morbidly obese enough to qualify for gastric bipass. 215, ladies and gentlemen. The fattest I've ever been in my whole life.
My test results for my hormones are all off but my doctor doesn't have time to see me to straighten it out for another 2 weeks. I'm exhausted all the time and yet the panic attacks are worse. I've broken out in this weird, psoriasis/fungal rash on my forehead. My teeth are jacked up and my head really, really hurts. My disability insurance got screwed up by my doctor and is still not straightened out, so of course, my car died, and will probably need repairs far more costly than the current value of said car.
Fuck. I feel so ill. I'm stupid, fat, ugly as hell and broke.

Question: When your ex posts on Facebook that he has been 'shot by Cupid's arrow' (exact words), are you within your rights to kick said ex in the testicles several times the next time you meet?

Fuck this shit, I'm going to Disneyland!

...On July 4, that is.

I think if I had a good night's sleep in a deprivation tank or something, I'd feel a bit more myself.

HAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.......

phew. LJ, I needed that. Thanks.

I have recurring themes....amusement parks, mostly.

Smoke.

Jared. He was there at my birth so he kinda beats everyone else.

My birthday is coming up. I'm thinking of getting a hotel room somewhere and just chilling. What do you think?

Pluto.

If they do I'll sue for sexual harrassment and/or assault.

So, it seems to be a case of three steps forward, a million steps back.
I'm getting more and more depressed every day, not just depressed but hopeless. My psychiatrist's solution is more medication. I've had vertigo for months to the point that I've crawled to the bathroom during the night to keep from bumping into walls/falling over. No one seems to know why this is happening. I haven't found a therapist. Out of the millions (hyperbole) I've called two responded. One of them showed up 45-60 minutes late for the two sessions we booked (I canned her) the other said I was too 'complicated' and she'd help me find someone more suited. At our last session she gave me a list of three people, none of whom took blue cross.
I have not felt healthy a day since this stupid surgery, whether it be mind or body.
I wish someone would kill me, since I don't have the energy/courage to do it myself. If you see me, just put a pillow over my face. Please.

I find Danny Trejo weirdly attractive.

A pulse.

My heart is really lonely right now. I miss having someone to kiss and stay in bed with all weekend. I think I've figured out why I'm so addicted to having a guy in my life:
1) Hugs/being held shut off the sympathetic CNS and prevent/stop panic attacks
2) Kisses release seratonin and endorphins, which help combat depression.

So, I'm basically self medicating.
Doesn't make it right, though.

Mangina.